<?php
/**
 * <https://y.st./>
 * Copyright © 2017 Alex Yst <mailto:copyright@y.st>
 * 
 * This program is free software: you can redistribute it and/or modify
 * it under the terms of the GNU General Public License as published by
 * the Free Software Foundation, either version 3 of the License, or
 * (at your option) any later version.
 * 
 * This program is distributed in the hope that it will be useful,
 * but WITHOUT ANY WARRANTY; without even the implied warranty of
 * MERCHANTABILITY or FITNESS FOR A PARTICULAR PURPOSE. See the
 * GNU General Public License for more details.
 * 
 * You should have received a copy of the GNU General Public License
 * along with this program. If not, see <https://www.gnu.org./licenses/>.
**/

$xhtml = array(
	'<{title}>' => 'Morbid cutting board',
	'<{body}>' => <<<END
<section id="general">
	<h2>General news</h2>
	<p>
		The new bike lock functioned terribly at first. After locking it to my bike, I couldn&apos;t <strong>*unlock*</strong> it.
		The key turned, but not fully.
		I tried forcing it to turn, but the plastic top of the key nearly broke.
		I went and got the second key, which has a stronger top but no built-in light, and that key wouldn&apos;t turn fully either.
		Eventually, after a few dozen tries to force the lock, as I had no idea what else to try, I got it open.
		At first, only the stronger key seemed to work, and it still required more pressure than it should and wouldn&apos;t always work at all, but eventually both keys worked without any difficulty.
		I was going to try returning it, but now there doesn&apos;t seem to be an issue.
		As much as I&apos;d like to be rid of that lock, I&apos;d have nothing to demonstrate to the customer service representative when I try to explain why I&apos;m trying to return a lock that&apos;s been used.
	</p>
	<p>
		As expected, the shoe giveaway was a waste of time.
		My feet are large, so I have trouble finding second-hand shoes, be they at such a giveaway or at a second-hand store.
		My feet aren&apos;t ridiculously huge or anything, and if I were to shop in a regular department store, I could easily find my size.
		However, there just aren&apos;t that many people of my size giving up their shoes.
		Well, I guess it wasn&apos;t a <strong>*total*</strong> waste of time.
		Now, when asked, I can honestly tell my neighbour I did go.
	</p>
	<p>
		Once I got home, I started looking through the freezer to figure out what to cook.
		I grabbed the dry beans in there (my mother&apos;s always had moth problems, so to avoid this at my place, I keep even my dry goods in my refrigerator or freezer, unless they&apos;re canned or otherwise incredibly well sealed), but saw they&apos;ve got a recipe on their label.
		I might as well try it, but I&apos;ll need to pick up some other ingredients first.
		Instead, I chose to make soup from some frozen veggie sausages one of my bosses gave me recently.
		This is the first time I&apos;ve had to cut something that hard since I moved here.
		My mother gave me a small cutting board pair around the time I got here, but it&apos;s been sitting new in the package until today.
		I usually cut veggies in my hand, but with the sausage, I thought I&apos;d hurt myself.
		The small, red cutting board has the image of a tomato on the edge.
		That&apos;s kind of cool.
		The large, cyan one has the image of a severed chicken head on it though.
		That&apos;s kind of morbid.
		Now that I&apos;ve had time to settle in, I&apos;ve remembered the existence of the cutting boards, and they&apos;ve been depackaged, I&apos;ll probably make use of them a lot more often.
		As an herbivore though, I&apos;m not too worried about cross contamination for health reasons.
		And as I usually boil up everything I&apos;ve cut up together into the same soup, I&apos;m not too concerned with cross contamination for flavour reasons either.
		I&apos;m not often going to need two cutting boards, so the tomato cutting board&apos;s going to be seeing a lot more use than the severed chicken head one.
	</p>
	<p>
		My <a href="/a/canary.txt">canary</a> still sings the tune of freedom and transparency.
	</p>
</section>
END
);
